Something More

I have a great life. Don't get me wrong. And if you assume that this post is meant to be a complaint I hope you find that you are wrong. Because I thank God for so many different and beautiful things about my life.

For instance:
Plenty of food to eat.
Enough money to get by.
A thoughtful, fun, spontaneous (and attractive) boyfriend.
A healthy body.
A healthy mind.
A host of good friends that I can call anytime.
A passion for life.

But at the same time, I can't help feeling stuck right now. I'm 22 and living at home again after 9 years away. I'm finishing my last bits of college, and am just forcing myself to turn every page or write every word. I'm still in the process of finding a descent paying job so that I can fund my study tour to France. I have no idea what I'm going to do next year. And the equivalent of all of this is that I am majorly focused on myself. I supposed you could even say obsessed. And as I've learned over the past few years, the times that I'm thinking more about myself than others is when I feel most depressed, anxious, and unhappy.

I need something more. 

So how do I go about fixing this problem?

I don't know. I really don't.

But I have a hint. Love tends to be a pretty good idea. But how do I love people more actively? How do I involve myself in the lives of others?

I think maybe I should start with my family. I should start with my boyfriend. I should start with my close friends. Cleaning the kitchen without being asked or writing a random letter or reminding them of how much I love them. I don't know. If anyone out there who might come across this blog has any ideas, please share. Because I don't think life is meant to be lived stifled within my own mind. I am sick of thinking only every about me and what makes me feel good. I want to be more like Jesus. That's the ultimate goal.